a middle aged lady presented with right sided hemi paresis and slurred speech.
her GCS was 10. she tried to speak but was incomprehensible. she had a right sided facial droop, right hemiparesis, hyper reflexaia with positive Babinski.

CT showed she had a bleed in her brain. she was having a hemorrhagic stroke.

her condition deteriorated in the ED and an emergency operation was arranged. the surgeon said her prognosis was poor. she could die. even if she were to survive, she would be bed bound.

it's cases like this that really set you thinking about the vulnerability of life. here was a lady, a wife, a mother, previously well, until the bleed in her brain. and within that short span of time, everything changed.

imagine how it must have felt for the family members to see their loved one in that state fighting for her life.. the fact that she would never be herself again or in the worst case scenario to die from the stroke. how could they possibly deal with the surge of emotions?

i felt the family's pain when they were informed of the bad news..

i'm not talking about an elderly person with multiple comorbidities. this was a middle aged lady who was previously well!

this could happen to anyone and at anytime!

i thought of how i would feel if it had happened to my parents. i couldn't bring myself to think further.

when a loved one leaves suddenly...
it's really too heart wrenching to describe.

such cases serve as a constant reminder to not take things for granted, which many pple including myself, are guilty of..


To love and leave no room for regrets...

at the ED today, we were told to examine a young boy's cvs system. as i placed my stethoscope on his chest, i heard a murmur, pansystolic, grade 4, loudest over the apex and mitral area...

we took turns to listen, to learn, to recognise and try to identify the murmur.

then a voice rang out.
"All you trainees please get out! My son is not a guinea pig!!!"

i turned and saw the boy's mum who was fuming mad. immediately, we left the young boy to his mother, apologizing as we passed by her.

when i looked back, i saw her hugging her son, comforting him... her anxiety was evident on her face..


such incidents are not uncommon at all.. as doctors in training, we want to get as much clinical exposure as possible, to learn from our patients, to be able to pick up signs. yet concurrently we want to treat our patients with respect, to not treat them as 'guinea pigs', to not disturb them unduly, to give them adequate rest.. it really is a fine line between the two.

no one wants to be shouted at, especially if the intent was not an evil one to begin with. we were just there to learn. how could we learn if we weren't allowed to examine patients?


how would i be able to function as a doctor if i haven't even picked up a clinical sign before as a trainee?


yet i could clearly see where the mother was coming from. she was anxious and distressed over her unwell child. the sight of us placing our stethoscopes on her child's chest was just too much. she was angry. i could have been as angry if i were in her shoes..

there are many obstacles in our learning journey. patients and relatives of patients refusing us is just one of many.

perhaps if our patients and their relatives could try to think from my point of view as a trainee doctor, just like how i try to think from their point of view, the situation would improve.

i've learnt to take things in my stride. shouted at? well.. it's just another day :)

i'm going to be a doctor one day...

one day in the not so distant future...



the thought seems to be growing louder in my mind each day..


i hope to be the best doctor to my future patients.

To cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always <3